A few things have stood out to me recently in my reading of the scriptures. One of which I noticed in the following passage:
Alma 16:16 "And there was no inequality among them"
Becoming a Zion people, becoming of one heart and one mind is a significant thing. The question that this scripture has led me to ponder is this:
Do I create or sustain inequality by my actions? Is there anything that I do that makes someone feel less important when they're around me? Or if they already feel excluded, do I do anything to rectify?
I try to be kind to those around me, but I don't really think about building unity. I am sure that there is so much that I am missing that could make much more of a difference.
No one likes to feel like a lesser individual, like they're not wanted, to feel left out, feel alone in a room full of people, to go unnoticed among people you know.
To feel like you don't belong. That might be what I'm using as my criteria for inequality. Not the economic or political sense of the word, but the social. I hope to be one who dispells inequality.
One small step to understanding what it means to posess charity.
Then, the trick is to balance that effort with the need to build and maintain deep and important friendships and relationships. It is possible to make everyone feel as equals without spending equal amounts of time with each one. When we are in a group setting, perhaps we should spread our attention to others a bit more, but we can foster our closer relationships by how we choose to spend our time, and who we choose to spend it with.
Sunday, December 19, 2010
Sunday, September 26, 2010
Humanity
Last night, I ran up to the Y parking lot in Provo. It is one of my favorite spots to run. One, for its difficulty (all uphill, some of it very steep) to get a good workout, and two, for the vantage point I have at the top. I like to look out at the city lights, which I can see across most of the valley. Urban settings have their own beauty to them, especially at night.
From up high, it is easier to think of things on a grander scale. To view the whole rather than the parts. There are so many of us, humans that is, even in a small place like Happy Valley. We all live and interact with one another in various ways.
I've been thinking lately about what we do when we pass someone while on foot. Walking on the sidewalk, someone is coming the opposite direction. You look out and see them, you look down or away as you are approaching or walking by them, trying to avoid awkward eye contact with a stranger, while yet still trying to steal a glance to see what they look like or if you by chance may recognize them. There are many variations on this interaction, but I generally observe that we avoid speaking or even acknowledging the other person. We seem to prefer to walk and let walk, so to speak.
I stand guilty of ignoring humanity as I pass them on the street. Too often I pass by without recognizing their presence, as if they don't matter to me.
They do.
I have been blessed with a knowledge of the Gospel, and I know their worth. And apart from that, I know the great importance that an individual citizen has for the benefit of the whole. And the significance of being human, existing and having cognitive thought.
So, I resolve to do better. I resolve to return to yesteryear, when a cordial greeting would be exchanged by passersby, out of common courtesy and respect for the other. I resolve to speak more to my fellow man, and show them, at least for all of the 5 seconds that would make up our encounter, that they are significant in the world. I don't need to grab the attention of everyone that comes my way, but I know the opportunities that should be taken.
The world seems so much better when you're comfortable exchanging a warm hello with a stranger. And who knows but that their day will be brighter as well.
From up high, it is easier to think of things on a grander scale. To view the whole rather than the parts. There are so many of us, humans that is, even in a small place like Happy Valley. We all live and interact with one another in various ways.
I've been thinking lately about what we do when we pass someone while on foot. Walking on the sidewalk, someone is coming the opposite direction. You look out and see them, you look down or away as you are approaching or walking by them, trying to avoid awkward eye contact with a stranger, while yet still trying to steal a glance to see what they look like or if you by chance may recognize them. There are many variations on this interaction, but I generally observe that we avoid speaking or even acknowledging the other person. We seem to prefer to walk and let walk, so to speak.
I stand guilty of ignoring humanity as I pass them on the street. Too often I pass by without recognizing their presence, as if they don't matter to me.
They do.
I have been blessed with a knowledge of the Gospel, and I know their worth. And apart from that, I know the great importance that an individual citizen has for the benefit of the whole. And the significance of being human, existing and having cognitive thought.
So, I resolve to do better. I resolve to return to yesteryear, when a cordial greeting would be exchanged by passersby, out of common courtesy and respect for the other. I resolve to speak more to my fellow man, and show them, at least for all of the 5 seconds that would make up our encounter, that they are significant in the world. I don't need to grab the attention of everyone that comes my way, but I know the opportunities that should be taken.
The world seems so much better when you're comfortable exchanging a warm hello with a stranger. And who knows but that their day will be brighter as well.
Sunday, September 5, 2010
Right as Rain
Am I going to write about something that is not related to the weather?
Right now, it is stupendous weather outside. Beautiful evening sun shining through green trees onto green grass, a cool breeze rolling by.
This sort of weather refreshes me. It reminds me of that feeling that we may have sometimes had where we feel that everything is right in the world, everything is as it should be. Of course, there are many things that could be better, but the point of the feeling that this weather induces in me is that it doesn't matter what occurs around me, I am still happy. Interesting that this emotion is caused by what is happening around me, but nevertheless, it is a very enjoyable mood or emotion to have.
I know life will be hard. I will always be busy. I seek challenges if I'm not challenged enough, and so I know I'll never really have an easy go at it. I may fail at some important things. I may succeed only in the smallest degree in my efforts. But I will press on anyway knowing that I am doing what is right, and doing my best at it. Success and results are nice. Praise is nice. But now, I think I am getting more at the heart of this feeling. I am simply uncovering the underlying peace that I receive from the Gospel of Christ. The storm may rage about, and I may stress and worry as I try to work in spite of it. But despite the stress, I am calm and at peace, which enables me to continue doing what I need to do despite hardships.
This is somewhat significant now, but I know I have much more difficult tasks ahead of me. But I don't fear the trouble. I don't fear the possible failure. Indeed, it is difficult to feel fear when peace has its hold, even when there is much to fear. And so I move on into whatever storm may be, prepared to do what I must do, and win or lose, stand tall knowing I've done all.
Right now, it is stupendous weather outside. Beautiful evening sun shining through green trees onto green grass, a cool breeze rolling by.
This sort of weather refreshes me. It reminds me of that feeling that we may have sometimes had where we feel that everything is right in the world, everything is as it should be. Of course, there are many things that could be better, but the point of the feeling that this weather induces in me is that it doesn't matter what occurs around me, I am still happy. Interesting that this emotion is caused by what is happening around me, but nevertheless, it is a very enjoyable mood or emotion to have.
I know life will be hard. I will always be busy. I seek challenges if I'm not challenged enough, and so I know I'll never really have an easy go at it. I may fail at some important things. I may succeed only in the smallest degree in my efforts. But I will press on anyway knowing that I am doing what is right, and doing my best at it. Success and results are nice. Praise is nice. But now, I think I am getting more at the heart of this feeling. I am simply uncovering the underlying peace that I receive from the Gospel of Christ. The storm may rage about, and I may stress and worry as I try to work in spite of it. But despite the stress, I am calm and at peace, which enables me to continue doing what I need to do despite hardships.
This is somewhat significant now, but I know I have much more difficult tasks ahead of me. But I don't fear the trouble. I don't fear the possible failure. Indeed, it is difficult to feel fear when peace has its hold, even when there is much to fear. And so I move on into whatever storm may be, prepared to do what I must do, and win or lose, stand tall knowing I've done all.
Friday, August 20, 2010
Allergies
I have never had allergies, but looks like that has changed. I have developed some sort of hay fever, and I thoroughly do not enjoy it. Even after taking some allergy medicine, my nose was still stuffy and runny.
So this whole allergies thing is new to me? Anyone want to comment on their allergies or experiences with them?
As a side note, I am curious somewhat about the development of allergies. That is, how am I allergic now, where I wasn't before? Perhaps it's because I haven't been living here for a long period of time, and in my absence my body has become unaccustomed to the environment.
I recall seeing reports that the number of kids with allergies is on the rise. I think I can tie this all together. Kids today are spending less time outside. Less time outside and exposed to the elements means your body is not used to dealing with the foreign objects that you would breathe, feel, or bump into.
I think spending more time outside as a kid helps build up somewhat your "immunity" to various things. Sort of like vaccines. I have nothing to back up this idea, but it seems to make sense. There are certainly some allergies that people are born with that no amount of early childhood exposure will cure. Indeed, everyone is allergic to bee stings, but some are more allergic than others.
Some things can't be changed, but I believe there is something to be said for allowing your kids to play outside in the dirt, in the bushes, with the bugs, and whatever else may be in the great outdoors (or the great sidewalk, depending on your living situation). Sure it's not the cleanest of environments, but perhaps time spent therein could do some good, just as you shouldn't pick up a child each time they fall, lest you inhibit their growth.
Unfounded ideas, but maybe they have some merit. Any thoughts there?
So this whole allergies thing is new to me? Anyone want to comment on their allergies or experiences with them?
As a side note, I am curious somewhat about the development of allergies. That is, how am I allergic now, where I wasn't before? Perhaps it's because I haven't been living here for a long period of time, and in my absence my body has become unaccustomed to the environment.
I recall seeing reports that the number of kids with allergies is on the rise. I think I can tie this all together. Kids today are spending less time outside. Less time outside and exposed to the elements means your body is not used to dealing with the foreign objects that you would breathe, feel, or bump into.
I think spending more time outside as a kid helps build up somewhat your "immunity" to various things. Sort of like vaccines. I have nothing to back up this idea, but it seems to make sense. There are certainly some allergies that people are born with that no amount of early childhood exposure will cure. Indeed, everyone is allergic to bee stings, but some are more allergic than others.
Some things can't be changed, but I believe there is something to be said for allowing your kids to play outside in the dirt, in the bushes, with the bugs, and whatever else may be in the great outdoors (or the great sidewalk, depending on your living situation). Sure it's not the cleanest of environments, but perhaps time spent therein could do some good, just as you shouldn't pick up a child each time they fall, lest you inhibit their growth.
Unfounded ideas, but maybe they have some merit. Any thoughts there?
Sunday, August 8, 2010
All things bright and beautiful
To continue on the theme of the previous post for a little...
Albuquerque has some of the best skies and sunsets. I have heard that watching the sun set over the pacific is amazing, but there is nothing like the sunsets we get here on a regular basis. This week alone has some exception cases. Driving home from work one day, the sunset was a brilliant transition from a deep orange through a radiant pink and into a stark purple across the billowing layers of clouds, staggered across the western sky.
What made this sunset even better though, was the fact that it was raining on the west side of town. Albuquerque is set in a valley, with the Sandia mountains on the east side, the Rio Grande running throught the center, and a small mesa on the west side, with another mountain in the distant west. I was on the east side of town, so I had a long, clear view over the town. Now back to the rain: the rain made it better because of its impeccable timing. The rain caught the beatiful colrs of the sunset, so I could look out and see an orange and pink rainstorm falling under the ornamental clouds.
I wish I had a picture of the scene (I have been meaning to get a camera...), but pictures just don't do it justice. I did a google image search for "Albuquerque sunsets", and the results were pretty, but drab in contrast to the real event.
Another recent sunset had some beautiful shafts of light coming out from a thin spot in the clouds, as if to highlight a few of their favorite houses. I love shafts of light. Besides the symbol of hope that they have been used for, they provide a nice accent to the scene and break in the coulds. The clouds glowing in the spots that they're too thin and color splashed on the edges also contribute to the masterpiece being painted in the sky each night
Bright colors on clouds that ebb and flow up the evening sky, light shining through in resplendent
glory, a last hurrah for the day at its close.
If you ever get a chance, come to Albuquerque and see the sunsets. Every now and then, the sunset is just okay...but that is the exception.
Albuquerque has some of the best skies and sunsets. I have heard that watching the sun set over the pacific is amazing, but there is nothing like the sunsets we get here on a regular basis. This week alone has some exception cases. Driving home from work one day, the sunset was a brilliant transition from a deep orange through a radiant pink and into a stark purple across the billowing layers of clouds, staggered across the western sky.
What made this sunset even better though, was the fact that it was raining on the west side of town. Albuquerque is set in a valley, with the Sandia mountains on the east side, the Rio Grande running throught the center, and a small mesa on the west side, with another mountain in the distant west. I was on the east side of town, so I had a long, clear view over the town. Now back to the rain: the rain made it better because of its impeccable timing. The rain caught the beatiful colrs of the sunset, so I could look out and see an orange and pink rainstorm falling under the ornamental clouds.
I wish I had a picture of the scene (I have been meaning to get a camera...), but pictures just don't do it justice. I did a google image search for "Albuquerque sunsets", and the results were pretty, but drab in contrast to the real event.
Another recent sunset had some beautiful shafts of light coming out from a thin spot in the clouds, as if to highlight a few of their favorite houses. I love shafts of light. Besides the symbol of hope that they have been used for, they provide a nice accent to the scene and break in the coulds. The clouds glowing in the spots that they're too thin and color splashed on the edges also contribute to the masterpiece being painted in the sky each night
Bright colors on clouds that ebb and flow up the evening sky, light shining through in resplendent
glory, a last hurrah for the day at its close.
If you ever get a chance, come to Albuquerque and see the sunsets. Every now and then, the sunset is just okay...but that is the exception.
Saturday, July 31, 2010
Price Canyon
I came up to Utah to visit recently, and the drive took me by Price and through the canyon into Utah Valley. I was struck by the beauty of the canyon in a way I hadn't noticed before. I realized that I haven't been through that canyon in the summer and in the daytime for many, many years. I either come through in the evening (when it is too dark to see) or during the winter (when it is still pretty, but not quite as stunning).
I have always wanted to live in Europe. I would love to be around the culture and the people and history, but I would especially love to be around some of the beautiful scenery that I know to be there. But on my recent drive, I realized that comparable scenes can be found nearby. Wonderful green mountains, zig zagging up past each other, trees and bushes of different colors and shapes providing a rich texture to the side of the hill, a great mixture of rock and foliage. Each area has its uniqueness that warrants a visit, but I fear I have been undervaluing much of the scenery available in Utah.
And for those of you not in New Mexico: appreciate your green. It is a rare and beautiful commodity in our region. Grass, deciduous trees are great, so enjoy them if you have them!
I have always wanted to live in Europe. I would love to be around the culture and the people and history, but I would especially love to be around some of the beautiful scenery that I know to be there. But on my recent drive, I realized that comparable scenes can be found nearby. Wonderful green mountains, zig zagging up past each other, trees and bushes of different colors and shapes providing a rich texture to the side of the hill, a great mixture of rock and foliage. Each area has its uniqueness that warrants a visit, but I fear I have been undervaluing much of the scenery available in Utah.
And for those of you not in New Mexico: appreciate your green. It is a rare and beautiful commodity in our region. Grass, deciduous trees are great, so enjoy them if you have them!
Sunday, July 18, 2010
The Summer of Vandals
Our property has been vandalized no less than 6 times this summer. A littering of our yard with those paper toilet seat covers was probably the least harmful. A couple rounds of TP were more annoying, as it took forever to cleanup and get it out of the pine trees.
A few weeks ago, some street signs arrived in our driveway, with an 'A' style "sidewalk closed" sign on the hood of my car (of course scratching the paint as the sign is metal and intended to stand on cement or asphalt). Last Sunday, my car was egged pretty good (unfortunately, half the street also got egged on that go around).
And then on Friday, we had a whole bunch of pudding cups thrown at our house. They were thrown pretty hard to make sure they'd explode (I was next to one of the windows they threw at). It was pretty bold of the hoodlums to do it because it was pretty obvious that we were home and awake. Most of the other ones were done while we were gone or very late at night.
We ran out, but couldn't see who it was. Then, we spent the next hour cleaning the house and the cars of all the pudding around. Tell you what, if you want to make a real mess in a hurry, use pudding. Either the oils of fat or whatever is in there made it so hard to get off of windows, off the car paint, off the stucco. It took six of us the whole hour of working hard to clean off our house, driveway and two cars that were subject to the pudding blast.
On most of these, my reaction has been a disappointed "really?"; that is to say"this is what you choose to do with your spare time and materials?" I wish I could say something to them, figure out why they're doing what they're doing, and explain why it doesn't make sense, why they shouldn't do such things. But even if I had that chance, I doubt that I would be able to have any sway on their minds. They are at a point where they are vandalizing for the fun of it. There's no message, no revenge or retaliation being invoked. Just mindless harm caused on others.
They are to the point where they no longer think or care about others. A confrontation wouldn't do much to change them. This is something that they would have to learn on their own in a different setting, a setting where they are in a state where they can learn. I don't know what that would be, but I'm sure at some point their hearts will be softened and maturity will occur.
Until that time comes, my responsibility is to forgive them and move on. I am in no position to judge them for their poor decisions, not knowing what other factors may have pushed them to their current state. But I can relieve myself of that burden through forgiveness.
I cannot choose what happens to me, but I can choose how I will react and what feelings to harbor in my soul. I choose to focus on the good and to meet whatever comes my way with a smile. "Come what may, and love it."
A few weeks ago, some street signs arrived in our driveway, with an 'A' style "sidewalk closed" sign on the hood of my car (of course scratching the paint as the sign is metal and intended to stand on cement or asphalt). Last Sunday, my car was egged pretty good (unfortunately, half the street also got egged on that go around).
And then on Friday, we had a whole bunch of pudding cups thrown at our house. They were thrown pretty hard to make sure they'd explode (I was next to one of the windows they threw at). It was pretty bold of the hoodlums to do it because it was pretty obvious that we were home and awake. Most of the other ones were done while we were gone or very late at night.
We ran out, but couldn't see who it was. Then, we spent the next hour cleaning the house and the cars of all the pudding around. Tell you what, if you want to make a real mess in a hurry, use pudding. Either the oils of fat or whatever is in there made it so hard to get off of windows, off the car paint, off the stucco. It took six of us the whole hour of working hard to clean off our house, driveway and two cars that were subject to the pudding blast.
On most of these, my reaction has been a disappointed "really?"; that is to say"this is what you choose to do with your spare time and materials?" I wish I could say something to them, figure out why they're doing what they're doing, and explain why it doesn't make sense, why they shouldn't do such things. But even if I had that chance, I doubt that I would be able to have any sway on their minds. They are at a point where they are vandalizing for the fun of it. There's no message, no revenge or retaliation being invoked. Just mindless harm caused on others.
They are to the point where they no longer think or care about others. A confrontation wouldn't do much to change them. This is something that they would have to learn on their own in a different setting, a setting where they are in a state where they can learn. I don't know what that would be, but I'm sure at some point their hearts will be softened and maturity will occur.
Until that time comes, my responsibility is to forgive them and move on. I am in no position to judge them for their poor decisions, not knowing what other factors may have pushed them to their current state. But I can relieve myself of that burden through forgiveness.
I cannot choose what happens to me, but I can choose how I will react and what feelings to harbor in my soul. I choose to focus on the good and to meet whatever comes my way with a smile. "Come what may, and love it."
Monday, July 12, 2010
I almost witnessed a shooting
Today was an unfortunate day.
On my way to work, I was passed by 2 police Suburbans careening down the road, clearly to some important matter. As I approached the intersection for my turn, I saw the police had turned towards my work. Before I got quite to the intersection, two patrol cars screamed by from the right branch of the intersection, and a fire truck came in from in front of me. From all different directions, they met and converged to head in the same direction: the direction I was going.
I was curious, no doubt, but nothing to really raise my suspicions yet. Then as I was on the road to work, no less than 5 more squad cars came up fast from behind me, sirens ablaze. I moved out of their way, then got back in my lane just in time to see a police truck zooming up from behind and passing me by. Now I knew that whatever was going on had to be a bit more important.
Straight ahead, I could see a conglomerate of cars and flashing lights indicating the focal point of the concern: a building very very near to where my office is. I took a turn early to go around the forming barricade and get to my building on the opposite side of it.
After parking, I got out, grabbed my things, and was on my way inside when I talked to another employee outside. He said that he was at the credit union just before (a building even nearer the scene) and that he had heard at least 15 gun shots when he was outside. He mentioned he had heard something about some guy shooting his girlfriend, or at least some girl there.
Information was trickling in slowly, as everyone in the vicinity was trying to piece together exactly what was happening. Just after a few brief moments talking with the man, a woman from inside the building opened the door and said that we needed to get inside. This seemed to be wise and obvious counsel, which we took. We found out from here that at least 2 people has been shot.
With this reeling in my mind, I went upstairs to my office and started getting things ready for work. As I logged in, I received an email indicating that the building I was in was now in a full lock down. Often, I go and work with some other employees over in a different building, but this meant I was stuck where I was at for now.
As I started to work there, more information began to trickle in about the incident unfolding nearby. A friend of mine sent me a link to listen to the police radio online. I listened as I started working, so I could hear them discussing moving patrol cars and policemen around to assist in a search for the gunman, and where they were securing all of the nearby people (including elementary school children).
About this time, the news reports started coming in with preliminary information. We were on the front page of CNN.com! Apparently, there was a man (originally reported as a woman shooter) who formerly worked for the nearby company. He came in shot his girlfriend and started shooting a bunch of other people. 6 dead, 4 more wounded, the initial report read. The police found several dead bodies, among which was what seemed to be the killer with a self inflicted gunshot wound.
The news reported that the 911 call was issued at 9:26a.m.
...I drove up around 9:36a.m.
A 10 minute gap was all that separated me from possibly driving by (and this would have been very close by) the shooting as it occurred. Interesting thoughts can arise of how things could have been different had I not been detained those extra minutes at home (I planned on arriving about 10-15 minutes earlier than I did). I suspect that nothing would have been different, that I would not have noticed and driven on by to work, only to get the reports later. But still...
There were reports of another possible gunman on the loose, and an eyewitness seeing someone fleeing across a nearby field. This scenario further solidified that fact that we were not leaving the building anytime soon. We received reports that the police looking for the shooter were very hot and thirsty, so we tried to round up some water bottles and snacks to assist, but that was the extent of what we could do, besides turn around and try to get some more work done.
The police radio continued to feed more information about securing the area. I looked out the window and saw several policemen, wearing bulletproof vests and carrying assault rifles, walking through the parking lot, checking cars and searching around for the possible suspect. All seemed to be well in hand, though I wasn't quite sure what to think of the parking lot patrol below. My coworkers and I tried to get work done as we could, but the occasional report and email of information was readily distracting.
Later, I began hearing on the police radio some talk of evacuating people and getting people on buses. I wasn't sure exactly what was being referred to, but I listened on. The nearby community center and some evacuees sheltered there, while a school for the blind right up the road housed the elementary students, waiting for the clear so their parents could retrieve them.
An hour passed, and I caught some discussion of evacuating the building in which I worked. I heard them describe the setup of the parking lot and the way in which they would direct people out. As the hour waned on we saw first another patrol of rifle bearing law enforcement. After some time, we soon saw a steady stream of people exiting our building. Nothing had been officially said or sent to us, but it was apparent that our building was indeed going to be evacuated.
It seemed like the entire building was nearly empty before someone came and gave us the go ahead to leave (our previous instruction being that the building was locked down). So I tried to close up shop as best I could, grabbed my things, and headed down. Exiting the building, there were several military looking personnel inside the lobby, as well as police. Military and police surrounded the building on all sides, ushering us out to our cars and out the parking lot to a designated route away from the scene.
The protective force included a SWAT truck, as well as 3 or 4 mounted policeman (mounties if your from Canada, policemen on horses if you're in the US). They directed us out and on our way. I went out to the other building with coworkers of mine (in a more secure location) where I recounted the happenings where I was. I tried to accomplish a little bit more work before it was recommended that everyone leave for the day.
The final reports seem to indicate that 3 people dies, and several more were injured. This was a tragic event. The police did a fine job securing the many around the scene and ensuring our safety while pursuing the investigation. I happened to be within a close proximity to it, though I don't believe I know anyone involved. Nevertheless, I felt safe, and I am grateful for my safety.
Why did that shooter act the way he did? Who knows.
What would have happened had I come to work when I planned? Who knows.
An odd set of emotions and thoughts surround such an event. I may try to capture them in words later, but this account will suffice for now: unfortunate events happened today.
On my way to work, I was passed by 2 police Suburbans careening down the road, clearly to some important matter. As I approached the intersection for my turn, I saw the police had turned towards my work. Before I got quite to the intersection, two patrol cars screamed by from the right branch of the intersection, and a fire truck came in from in front of me. From all different directions, they met and converged to head in the same direction: the direction I was going.
I was curious, no doubt, but nothing to really raise my suspicions yet. Then as I was on the road to work, no less than 5 more squad cars came up fast from behind me, sirens ablaze. I moved out of their way, then got back in my lane just in time to see a police truck zooming up from behind and passing me by. Now I knew that whatever was going on had to be a bit more important.
Straight ahead, I could see a conglomerate of cars and flashing lights indicating the focal point of the concern: a building very very near to where my office is. I took a turn early to go around the forming barricade and get to my building on the opposite side of it.
After parking, I got out, grabbed my things, and was on my way inside when I talked to another employee outside. He said that he was at the credit union just before (a building even nearer the scene) and that he had heard at least 15 gun shots when he was outside. He mentioned he had heard something about some guy shooting his girlfriend, or at least some girl there.
Information was trickling in slowly, as everyone in the vicinity was trying to piece together exactly what was happening. Just after a few brief moments talking with the man, a woman from inside the building opened the door and said that we needed to get inside. This seemed to be wise and obvious counsel, which we took. We found out from here that at least 2 people has been shot.
With this reeling in my mind, I went upstairs to my office and started getting things ready for work. As I logged in, I received an email indicating that the building I was in was now in a full lock down. Often, I go and work with some other employees over in a different building, but this meant I was stuck where I was at for now.
As I started to work there, more information began to trickle in about the incident unfolding nearby. A friend of mine sent me a link to listen to the police radio online. I listened as I started working, so I could hear them discussing moving patrol cars and policemen around to assist in a search for the gunman, and where they were securing all of the nearby people (including elementary school children).
About this time, the news reports started coming in with preliminary information. We were on the front page of CNN.com! Apparently, there was a man (originally reported as a woman shooter) who formerly worked for the nearby company. He came in shot his girlfriend and started shooting a bunch of other people. 6 dead, 4 more wounded, the initial report read. The police found several dead bodies, among which was what seemed to be the killer with a self inflicted gunshot wound.
The news reported that the 911 call was issued at 9:26a.m.
...I drove up around 9:36a.m.
A 10 minute gap was all that separated me from possibly driving by (and this would have been very close by) the shooting as it occurred. Interesting thoughts can arise of how things could have been different had I not been detained those extra minutes at home (I planned on arriving about 10-15 minutes earlier than I did). I suspect that nothing would have been different, that I would not have noticed and driven on by to work, only to get the reports later. But still...
There were reports of another possible gunman on the loose, and an eyewitness seeing someone fleeing across a nearby field. This scenario further solidified that fact that we were not leaving the building anytime soon. We received reports that the police looking for the shooter were very hot and thirsty, so we tried to round up some water bottles and snacks to assist, but that was the extent of what we could do, besides turn around and try to get some more work done.
The police radio continued to feed more information about securing the area. I looked out the window and saw several policemen, wearing bulletproof vests and carrying assault rifles, walking through the parking lot, checking cars and searching around for the possible suspect. All seemed to be well in hand, though I wasn't quite sure what to think of the parking lot patrol below. My coworkers and I tried to get work done as we could, but the occasional report and email of information was readily distracting.
Later, I began hearing on the police radio some talk of evacuating people and getting people on buses. I wasn't sure exactly what was being referred to, but I listened on. The nearby community center and some evacuees sheltered there, while a school for the blind right up the road housed the elementary students, waiting for the clear so their parents could retrieve them.
An hour passed, and I caught some discussion of evacuating the building in which I worked. I heard them describe the setup of the parking lot and the way in which they would direct people out. As the hour waned on we saw first another patrol of rifle bearing law enforcement. After some time, we soon saw a steady stream of people exiting our building. Nothing had been officially said or sent to us, but it was apparent that our building was indeed going to be evacuated.
It seemed like the entire building was nearly empty before someone came and gave us the go ahead to leave (our previous instruction being that the building was locked down). So I tried to close up shop as best I could, grabbed my things, and headed down. Exiting the building, there were several military looking personnel inside the lobby, as well as police. Military and police surrounded the building on all sides, ushering us out to our cars and out the parking lot to a designated route away from the scene.
The protective force included a SWAT truck, as well as 3 or 4 mounted policeman (mounties if your from Canada, policemen on horses if you're in the US). They directed us out and on our way. I went out to the other building with coworkers of mine (in a more secure location) where I recounted the happenings where I was. I tried to accomplish a little bit more work before it was recommended that everyone leave for the day.
The final reports seem to indicate that 3 people dies, and several more were injured. This was a tragic event. The police did a fine job securing the many around the scene and ensuring our safety while pursuing the investigation. I happened to be within a close proximity to it, though I don't believe I know anyone involved. Nevertheless, I felt safe, and I am grateful for my safety.
Why did that shooter act the way he did? Who knows.
What would have happened had I come to work when I planned? Who knows.
An odd set of emotions and thoughts surround such an event. I may try to capture them in words later, but this account will suffice for now: unfortunate events happened today.
Monday, July 5, 2010
Independence!
On the Fourth of July, I looked out across Albuquerque. I had a decent panoramic view of much of the city. I could see small poofs of red and green and gold light appearing and disappearing across the landscape. Even though people were celebrating by themselves or in small groups, it seemed as if the entire city was rejoicing in one voice, everyone reaching out together to provide pieces of the visual symphony. I sat and enjoyed the scene for some time, reflecting on the liberties that I now enjoy and the promise that freedom provides.
I liked the feeling that we are united in our celebration. What I wish to be more secure in the knowledge of is that we are actually celebrating our independence. Are we just lighting off fireworks because it's fun? because we have an excuse to? out of tradition?
I believe in liberty, and I celebrate the events that provided it for me. And I hope to make wise use of the freedoms I enjoy to benefit those around me.
I liked the feeling that we are united in our celebration. What I wish to be more secure in the knowledge of is that we are actually celebrating our independence. Are we just lighting off fireworks because it's fun? because we have an excuse to? out of tradition?
I believe in liberty, and I celebrate the events that provided it for me. And I hope to make wise use of the freedoms I enjoy to benefit those around me.
Tuesday, June 29, 2010
Mutual Improvement
I have been recently reading the Autobiography of Benjamin Franklin. I just read a portion where he described how he and some of his friends would gather together once a week to read, and discuss what they had read. At one of these meetings, it was suggested that each of them take the week to endeavor to write some poetry, and then each bring back and present the next week to have the criticism, comments, and compliments of the other further improve their writing.
I think we need more of this. I daresay that more often than not, when friends get together, we usually amount to doing nothing during the period, though the pleasure of each other's company is enjoyable for sure. I enjoy hanging out and enjoying some entertainment with my friends, but perhaps we are missing opportunities to further grow because we are not acquainted with such practices in our modern culture. We are so used to our culture of entertainment that we don't take occasion for more in depth discussion on matters to which we may mutually desire to become more skilled or knowledgeable. Or perhaps we work so hard in other areas of life that when we find ourselves at leisure among friends, the furthest things from our thoughts are constructive activities and engagements of learning and growth.
So what do you say, friends? Can we do more than chill in each other's presence? Can we be engaging in a meaningful way without being boring or taxing? Can we be entertained and pleased in each other's company when we aren't saturated with electronic media, or is the full employment of our intellect reserved only for the classroom or the office?
I think we can be better. My own improvements stare me blatantly in the face. But having friends with you there makes it all the easier to do and grow.
I think we need more of this. I daresay that more often than not, when friends get together, we usually amount to doing nothing during the period, though the pleasure of each other's company is enjoyable for sure. I enjoy hanging out and enjoying some entertainment with my friends, but perhaps we are missing opportunities to further grow because we are not acquainted with such practices in our modern culture. We are so used to our culture of entertainment that we don't take occasion for more in depth discussion on matters to which we may mutually desire to become more skilled or knowledgeable. Or perhaps we work so hard in other areas of life that when we find ourselves at leisure among friends, the furthest things from our thoughts are constructive activities and engagements of learning and growth.
So what do you say, friends? Can we do more than chill in each other's presence? Can we be engaging in a meaningful way without being boring or taxing? Can we be entertained and pleased in each other's company when we aren't saturated with electronic media, or is the full employment of our intellect reserved only for the classroom or the office?
I think we can be better. My own improvements stare me blatantly in the face. But having friends with you there makes it all the easier to do and grow.
Tuesday, June 22, 2010
Writing a symphony takes a long time
I've started working on writing my symphony. I've had it on my to do list for a long time, and I've finally gotten started. I took some time a while ago to plan out the movements and theme developments, but now I actually have music going down.
I have a whole new respect for composers and film music writers, creating symphonies and scoring music in weeks. It takes FOREVER to actually write this stuff. Especially if you don't have an orchestra ready or some other means to hear how everything sounds together. I can hear how the whole piece sounds together, but I have a hard time isolating the separate parts to actually write them out. I have a piano, but I can only play so many parts at a time. And the real instruments provide a whole different blend of sounds apart from the notes, the texture of which I can only guess at discerning. I have a small amount of experience participating in band/orchestra setting, but not enough to be able to hear and pick apart the music to write it faster.
It's nice to actually see the notes written out (after only thinking about doing it for a while), but it's going to be a while before I get anything substantial. So let the music play .... dah dah dee dum doo dah....
I have a whole new respect for composers and film music writers, creating symphonies and scoring music in weeks. It takes FOREVER to actually write this stuff. Especially if you don't have an orchestra ready or some other means to hear how everything sounds together. I can hear how the whole piece sounds together, but I have a hard time isolating the separate parts to actually write them out. I have a piano, but I can only play so many parts at a time. And the real instruments provide a whole different blend of sounds apart from the notes, the texture of which I can only guess at discerning. I have a small amount of experience participating in band/orchestra setting, but not enough to be able to hear and pick apart the music to write it faster.
It's nice to actually see the notes written out (after only thinking about doing it for a while), but it's going to be a while before I get anything substantial. So let the music play .... dah dah dee dum doo dah....
Monday, June 14, 2010
Writing
I feel like I should write something, but I don't know what. I have so much to say and write, but I just can't think of anything. There are times when words flow from my pen, when prose is naturally ushered into being from my soul, but not now. Not lately, it seems. I can write and I can communicate a subject, but the passion and persuasion of which language is capable yet eludes me.
I desire to have a mastery over words, a command of language such that I can express my thoughts and convey my feelings. Oh if I could speak, if I could write what I mean, what I intend. Rather, it is poorly chosen and ill fitting words that spew forth, if any come at all. Too often I leave things unsaid. Too often I leave ideas unwritten.
The sonnet of my soul has yet to be penned, the will of my mind enrobed in ink.
With what lacking modes must my heart employ, my mind to speak.
Truth begs to be shared, and so easily slips, elusive as the evening sun
But I will not falter by the way til I've said my part, until I'm done.
Trudging on through mirey pages of what once was and what may be,
Echoes of the shadowed past illuminate a part of me.
Though now I see, yet now it's gone, this whispered thought to stare
Blankly now I search for what might take me past its familiar air.
An edge, a piece of my own words show in a stranger's written ode
A portion that I wish I wrote, through this man already told
Another, and yet more, come to view, their voices rushing fast
Saying things that should be said, the wisdom of the past.
Yet harmony is incomplete while all but one raise the strain
This music is meant for all to hear, for all to drop as rain.
Though incomplete my sonnet be, though muddled are my words
I write, I speak, I sing, I shout- for my voice will be heard.
-Bryan Hardy
I desire to have a mastery over words, a command of language such that I can express my thoughts and convey my feelings. Oh if I could speak, if I could write what I mean, what I intend. Rather, it is poorly chosen and ill fitting words that spew forth, if any come at all. Too often I leave things unsaid. Too often I leave ideas unwritten.
The sonnet of my soul has yet to be penned, the will of my mind enrobed in ink.
With what lacking modes must my heart employ, my mind to speak.
Truth begs to be shared, and so easily slips, elusive as the evening sun
But I will not falter by the way til I've said my part, until I'm done.
Trudging on through mirey pages of what once was and what may be,
Echoes of the shadowed past illuminate a part of me.
Though now I see, yet now it's gone, this whispered thought to stare
Blankly now I search for what might take me past its familiar air.
An edge, a piece of my own words show in a stranger's written ode
A portion that I wish I wrote, through this man already told
Another, and yet more, come to view, their voices rushing fast
Saying things that should be said, the wisdom of the past.
Yet harmony is incomplete while all but one raise the strain
This music is meant for all to hear, for all to drop as rain.
Though incomplete my sonnet be, though muddled are my words
I write, I speak, I sing, I shout- for my voice will be heard.
-Bryan Hardy
Friday, June 4, 2010
Mission
As of today, I have been off my mission for the same amount of time that I was on it. I served a mission for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints for 2 years and 2 days, and it has been exactly that amount of time that I have now been home.
On my mission, I gained a lot of experience and grew as a person. My commitment to my faith in Jesus Christ increased as I came to understand better exactly what his Gospel meant for me and what it could mean for others. I grew to love humanity and understand, in some small degree, what it means to be selfless, to give of myself. I don’t believe that I have the words to really describe my experience there and do it justice. It is incredibly meaningful to me personally, and I know that I was able to do good to others and bring to many those things that I know to be true, truths which I treasure.
Now that I have been off my mission for the same period of time, I wonder the effect that this period of time has had one me. Has it been as significant for me? Have I grown as much, continued to improve myself? This period is a very different one in my life than my mission was, with different goals, objectives, and activities. I am learning much, and having very different and important formulative experiences. But I am growing enough? Or am I maintaining sufficiently the growth and character that I developed on my mission?
There are many who feel like they just can't be as good or grow as much as they did on their mission. I believe that your post mission life can be as good and fulfilling as your mission, if not more. It is only different. We have different experiences and grow in different ways. Perhaps this feeling comes because we are no longer serving God 24/7.
Or are we? I believe that we serve God in more ways then just preaching the Gospel. Preparing to contribute to the world by pursuing education, working an honest job, raising a family, developing our talents, befriending others, and serving in Church and other capacities. Maybe it's just harder to focus and put things into perspective.
I don't think I'm wise enough to enumerate how I've changed and grown since my mission, but I do believe that I have. I hope to continue to improve and grow in various ways. Improvement may be hard, but it is worth it.
On my mission, I gained a lot of experience and grew as a person. My commitment to my faith in Jesus Christ increased as I came to understand better exactly what his Gospel meant for me and what it could mean for others. I grew to love humanity and understand, in some small degree, what it means to be selfless, to give of myself. I don’t believe that I have the words to really describe my experience there and do it justice. It is incredibly meaningful to me personally, and I know that I was able to do good to others and bring to many those things that I know to be true, truths which I treasure.
Now that I have been off my mission for the same period of time, I wonder the effect that this period of time has had one me. Has it been as significant for me? Have I grown as much, continued to improve myself? This period is a very different one in my life than my mission was, with different goals, objectives, and activities. I am learning much, and having very different and important formulative experiences. But I am growing enough? Or am I maintaining sufficiently the growth and character that I developed on my mission?
There are many who feel like they just can't be as good or grow as much as they did on their mission. I believe that your post mission life can be as good and fulfilling as your mission, if not more. It is only different. We have different experiences and grow in different ways. Perhaps this feeling comes because we are no longer serving God 24/7.
Or are we? I believe that we serve God in more ways then just preaching the Gospel. Preparing to contribute to the world by pursuing education, working an honest job, raising a family, developing our talents, befriending others, and serving in Church and other capacities. Maybe it's just harder to focus and put things into perspective.
I don't think I'm wise enough to enumerate how I've changed and grown since my mission, but I do believe that I have. I hope to continue to improve and grow in various ways. Improvement may be hard, but it is worth it.
Wednesday, June 2, 2010
Day Dreaming
So today in our work meeting, we had a consultant from employee health come in and talk to us about reducing our stress. She gave us a muscle relaxing technique first, which was nice. It basically involved tensing up muscles in one area and then relaxing them, deeply breathing during the process.
But the best part of the meeting today was the visualization technique for reducing stress.
We learned how to properly day dream in the workplace.
You thought that you could day dream just fine yourself, but there are proper techniques to day dreaming. This is no simple task for ameteurs, no sir! You need proper training before you begin to day dream!
The consultant had us think of some place that we found peaceful. Then, think about all the different things to do with it, such as the sounds, the colors, the smells, etc. It was nice, and did help with stress reduction and relaxation. We were instructed to 'practice' it, spending perhaps 5-10 minutes doing it when we feel stress.
I enjoy a good day dream, but I never thought I would recieve proper training for it at work. Remember kids, if you're going to day dream in the workplace, be sure to get all the proper training and protocols beforehand.
But the best part of the meeting today was the visualization technique for reducing stress.
We learned how to properly day dream in the workplace.
You thought that you could day dream just fine yourself, but there are proper techniques to day dreaming. This is no simple task for ameteurs, no sir! You need proper training before you begin to day dream!
The consultant had us think of some place that we found peaceful. Then, think about all the different things to do with it, such as the sounds, the colors, the smells, etc. It was nice, and did help with stress reduction and relaxation. We were instructed to 'practice' it, spending perhaps 5-10 minutes doing it when we feel stress.
I enjoy a good day dream, but I never thought I would recieve proper training for it at work. Remember kids, if you're going to day dream in the workplace, be sure to get all the proper training and protocols beforehand.
Friday, May 21, 2010
Musicals are like life!
I thoroughly enjoy musicals. I like both listening to the music and watching the theatrical performance. I've heard people criticize musicals with phrases such as 'People never suddenly burst out into song in real life!' Well, whoever says that hasn't been around my family for long enough!! We do just randomly burst into song and dance, choreographed and everything! So maybe it's not the best of quality, but it's really funny to see.
However, besides the exception of my family, I realized something else: there's almost always a soundtrack to movies, but no one ever seems to complain that 'There's never a full orchestra following you around in real life!' But really, besides walking around with an iPod, you don't have music emanating as you go to narrarate your activities.
That's something that I have kind of always wanted. My own theme music.
And usually I have it...
Even if there aren't symphonies or speakers following me around, I can hear music in my head. Everyone can reply music they've heard in their head, so I just pick music that matches my mood or task. Or sometimes, if I'm feeling particularly creative, I'll just make up my own.
With musicals, I feel like the songs they sing and dance are the ones that we would in those circumstances if we could come up with it on the spot. Unfortunately, we usually can't. But music has a way of expressing emotion that words alone cannot. A song from a musical can represent my thought or current state better than an essay on the subject. The combination of words and music are what makes musicals so great and moving.
So bring them on, with their over the top expressiveness and elaborate schemes! Bring on the impromtu song and dance! Sure we'll look goofy, but it'll be tons of fun!
However, besides the exception of my family, I realized something else: there's almost always a soundtrack to movies, but no one ever seems to complain that 'There's never a full orchestra following you around in real life!' But really, besides walking around with an iPod, you don't have music emanating as you go to narrarate your activities.
That's something that I have kind of always wanted. My own theme music.
And usually I have it...
Even if there aren't symphonies or speakers following me around, I can hear music in my head. Everyone can reply music they've heard in their head, so I just pick music that matches my mood or task. Or sometimes, if I'm feeling particularly creative, I'll just make up my own.
With musicals, I feel like the songs they sing and dance are the ones that we would in those circumstances if we could come up with it on the spot. Unfortunately, we usually can't. But music has a way of expressing emotion that words alone cannot. A song from a musical can represent my thought or current state better than an essay on the subject. The combination of words and music are what makes musicals so great and moving.
So bring them on, with their over the top expressiveness and elaborate schemes! Bring on the impromtu song and dance! Sure we'll look goofy, but it'll be tons of fun!
Tuesday, May 11, 2010
What's a cubit?
If you haven't heard Bill Cosby's standup skit about Noah, you are missing out.Truly a fine piece of comedy.
I had my first day at Sandia yesterday. The first few days are full of training, mostly stuff like ethics, safety, and procedural things. But, now, I'm on to some real work. This summer, I'll be learning Python (a programming language, for those unfamiliar) and using it to run some tests etc on the program. The program I work on is called Cubit (though if you lined it up 300 long, 50 wide, and 30 high, I don't think it'd be comprable to an ark). It is written in C++ and Python. I learned some C++ last year, but not much. Between then, I took a class on Java, which was very helpful to solidify programming concepts, but now I have to start translating syntax. Joy.
Computer programming is very cool stuff. Very logical, methodical, you can do many amazing things with it. When you finally get something to work that you have programmed is a cool feeling. A feeling of creation, almost. You have created this program out of nothing that does what you want it to do. (Now if only we, God's creations, did exactly what he wanted us to do! see Helaman 12, starting in verse 7.) Programming is very useful in the world and a valuable skill to have.
But I don't enjoy it.
I like it enough to do and learn, but I don't think I could do it for a career or job when I know other opportunities are available to me. Now, I think I'll enjoy a fair amount of learning Python and being able to work around the code and know what I'm doing, but after the initial fun is done, I'll be left to myself to continue plugging through. Often I can get in "the zone" and work or code for hours without realizing the time that is passing. But not always.
So, here's to hoping that things remain interesting at work for the whole summer. I am certainly grateful for the employment and experience. But perhaps a little Bill Cosby could freshen things up. :)
I had my first day at Sandia yesterday. The first few days are full of training, mostly stuff like ethics, safety, and procedural things. But, now, I'm on to some real work. This summer, I'll be learning Python (a programming language, for those unfamiliar) and using it to run some tests etc on the program. The program I work on is called Cubit (though if you lined it up 300 long, 50 wide, and 30 high, I don't think it'd be comprable to an ark). It is written in C++ and Python. I learned some C++ last year, but not much. Between then, I took a class on Java, which was very helpful to solidify programming concepts, but now I have to start translating syntax. Joy.
Computer programming is very cool stuff. Very logical, methodical, you can do many amazing things with it. When you finally get something to work that you have programmed is a cool feeling. A feeling of creation, almost. You have created this program out of nothing that does what you want it to do. (Now if only we, God's creations, did exactly what he wanted us to do! see Helaman 12, starting in verse 7.) Programming is very useful in the world and a valuable skill to have.
But I don't enjoy it.
I like it enough to do and learn, but I don't think I could do it for a career or job when I know other opportunities are available to me. Now, I think I'll enjoy a fair amount of learning Python and being able to work around the code and know what I'm doing, but after the initial fun is done, I'll be left to myself to continue plugging through. Often I can get in "the zone" and work or code for hours without realizing the time that is passing. But not always.
So, here's to hoping that things remain interesting at work for the whole summer. I am certainly grateful for the employment and experience. But perhaps a little Bill Cosby could freshen things up. :)
Thursday, May 6, 2010
Waiting
Lately, I've been waiting for a lot of things. As I've been waiting, I've had a bit more spare time. I have so many things that i could be doing, but I find it so hard to actually do them when I'm waiting for something else to happen! So I find myself sitting around doing not much of anything, just waiting...
I find a similar thing happens when I'm not busy. It seems when I'm super busy, I can get more things done because I know my time is limited, so I just go go go doing as much as I can. When I'm not as busy, the same urgency isn't there, so even though I have more spare time, I can't get myself going at as high a pace.
I'm usually in high gear. I like accomplishing a lot, and there is a whole lot in life that I want to do and accomplish. So it seems that I have two apparent solutions. One, I could give myself more committments such as class, work, volunteering, etc, or two, I could learn to be proactive in doing many non-scheduled things. Either way, I need to overcome the anxiety of waiting. That is, I need to learn to let things happen when they will, and get doing something productive in the meantime.
I find a similar thing happens when I'm not busy. It seems when I'm super busy, I can get more things done because I know my time is limited, so I just go go go doing as much as I can. When I'm not as busy, the same urgency isn't there, so even though I have more spare time, I can't get myself going at as high a pace.
I'm usually in high gear. I like accomplishing a lot, and there is a whole lot in life that I want to do and accomplish. So it seems that I have two apparent solutions. One, I could give myself more committments such as class, work, volunteering, etc, or two, I could learn to be proactive in doing many non-scheduled things. Either way, I need to overcome the anxiety of waiting. That is, I need to learn to let things happen when they will, and get doing something productive in the meantime.
Tuesday, May 4, 2010
Beginning to think
Much in life is worth recording, while much else is not. I am not sure exactly what I will do with this blog, but I plan to share somewhat of the goings on of life and my contemplations thereon. I've been meaning to start a blog for a while, but I've been putting it off because I have deeper things to think about and say that I would like to prepare. Those things will be saved for another blog, which I will continue to procrastinate starting. But this blog will suffice, and get me in the habit of writing and sharing some thoughts for thinking.
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