To fail with grace is a trait that I have yet to develop. I'm not horrendous in failure, but I don't have full composure and control over myself.
I had 5 failures today. Some were more consequential than others, but 5 important things went more wrong than right today. One of these by itself would be enough to dim the brightness of my day, but the combined effect produce near nightfall on my otherwise sunny outlook.
I am reminded of a quote I enjoy by Winston Churchill:
"Success is the ability to go from one failure to another with no loss of enthusiasm."
And thus I move today from one failure to another, hoping that I am able to maintain my enthusiasm in all areas, and move forward to the outcomes I desire.
But at the very least, I hope not to burden others with my misfortunes. Rather, through the gloom will the light be shining, onward and up. There is always good.
Wednesday, April 20, 2011
Saturday, March 26, 2011
I'm not superman
That's surprisingly hard for me to admit. It shouldn't be, but I've always had the mentality that I could do anything. Within reason, of course, but that given the time, I could accomplish anything. But in the last few weeks, I have been reminded more and more of my shortcomings and inabilities. I am not invincible. I can't run full steam all day, and half the night and expect to be able to do it all again the next day. I can't load myself with only difficult classes and lots of obligations and expect to absorb all the information and perform well in all of them.
I don't know if my capacity for focus and comprehension has diminished, or if I am actually facing a significantly more difficult load of responsibility. But I just seem unable to do the things I expect myself to do. This semester is I think the first time that I have felt anxiety from stress. Interesting experience, I do not reccomend anxiety. I'm used to having and managing a large amount of stress, and I can usually control my nerves, so being close to the edge where anxiety begins to inhibit me physically and mentally was disconcerting.
Fortunately, that not is the my constant state of being. The majority of the time, I feel fine and enjoy life. Except for those moments when I am reminded that I am not as capable as I thought. Hopefully I find a renewed capacity soon, or become more aware of what my capacity limits are, and act within them. Until then, I am going to press on and hope my energy and ability lasts me through my labors.
Despite these remarks, life is good, and I am happy.
I don't know if my capacity for focus and comprehension has diminished, or if I am actually facing a significantly more difficult load of responsibility. But I just seem unable to do the things I expect myself to do. This semester is I think the first time that I have felt anxiety from stress. Interesting experience, I do not reccomend anxiety. I'm used to having and managing a large amount of stress, and I can usually control my nerves, so being close to the edge where anxiety begins to inhibit me physically and mentally was disconcerting.
Fortunately, that not is the my constant state of being. The majority of the time, I feel fine and enjoy life. Except for those moments when I am reminded that I am not as capable as I thought. Hopefully I find a renewed capacity soon, or become more aware of what my capacity limits are, and act within them. Until then, I am going to press on and hope my energy and ability lasts me through my labors.
Despite these remarks, life is good, and I am happy.
Sunday, February 20, 2011
Presidential Greatness
I have thought on various occasions what is it about certain people that makes them great. Presidents day is tomorrow, so declared in honor of two of our most beloved presidents. Their impact becomes ever more apparent as the world rolls forward. As cliche as it may be, George Washington and Abraham Lincoln are my two favorite presidents.
Washington was one of the few in history who had total power and gave it up. Cincinattus was another, from Roman days. Washington had full command of the military prior to his presidency, and was prevailed upon to remain as president for longer than his two terms. But he chose to give his power back to the people, having done his duty now to rest. This is in significant contrast to former Egyptian president Hosni Mubarak, who gained the presidency and lingered there, allowing power to corrupt.
Lincoln showed the restraint of a dignified leader. Instead of pressing advantage to those who were loyal, he offered generous reconstruction plans to the South upon their surrender. So easy it would have been to hold disdain and begrudge relief for the people who had rebelled, and made life all the worse for them. Rather, healing was sought for the broken nation, to become one nation under God once more.
What was it that made these two presidents great? Though we certainly recognize their many flaws, what was it that enabled them to step up and do the things that our country needed right when it needed it? What was it that forged their characters such that they were prepared to make the decisions that they did? What enabled these two men, without pomp to their presence or haughtiness to their height, to be the strong leaders that they turned out to be? Was it their parents? Was it some adversity? Was it a teacher each may have had? Were they innately endowed with their capacities and desires? When the tough decisions had to be made, what was it that pushed them on into the dark of the unknown?
There will always be a need in all ages of the world for men and women of such caliber as the two presidents for whom our holiday reveres. What can I do to form my character such that I am prepared to chose nobly at my life's junctions, however small or great the consequences may seem? (for indeed, a large gate turns on a very small hinge.)
My fate is not decided, and there is yet time in the day for me to construct a character worthy of the opportunities that have been afforded me. So I go to build, and then to choose.
And so do you.
Washington was one of the few in history who had total power and gave it up. Cincinattus was another, from Roman days. Washington had full command of the military prior to his presidency, and was prevailed upon to remain as president for longer than his two terms. But he chose to give his power back to the people, having done his duty now to rest. This is in significant contrast to former Egyptian president Hosni Mubarak, who gained the presidency and lingered there, allowing power to corrupt.
Lincoln showed the restraint of a dignified leader. Instead of pressing advantage to those who were loyal, he offered generous reconstruction plans to the South upon their surrender. So easy it would have been to hold disdain and begrudge relief for the people who had rebelled, and made life all the worse for them. Rather, healing was sought for the broken nation, to become one nation under God once more.
What was it that made these two presidents great? Though we certainly recognize their many flaws, what was it that enabled them to step up and do the things that our country needed right when it needed it? What was it that forged their characters such that they were prepared to make the decisions that they did? What enabled these two men, without pomp to their presence or haughtiness to their height, to be the strong leaders that they turned out to be? Was it their parents? Was it some adversity? Was it a teacher each may have had? Were they innately endowed with their capacities and desires? When the tough decisions had to be made, what was it that pushed them on into the dark of the unknown?
There will always be a need in all ages of the world for men and women of such caliber as the two presidents for whom our holiday reveres. What can I do to form my character such that I am prepared to chose nobly at my life's junctions, however small or great the consequences may seem? (for indeed, a large gate turns on a very small hinge.)
My fate is not decided, and there is yet time in the day for me to construct a character worthy of the opportunities that have been afforded me. So I go to build, and then to choose.
And so do you.
Sunday, December 19, 2010
Inequality
A few things have stood out to me recently in my reading of the scriptures. One of which I noticed in the following passage:
Alma 16:16 "And there was no inequality among them"
Becoming a Zion people, becoming of one heart and one mind is a significant thing. The question that this scripture has led me to ponder is this:
Do I create or sustain inequality by my actions? Is there anything that I do that makes someone feel less important when they're around me? Or if they already feel excluded, do I do anything to rectify?
I try to be kind to those around me, but I don't really think about building unity. I am sure that there is so much that I am missing that could make much more of a difference.
No one likes to feel like a lesser individual, like they're not wanted, to feel left out, feel alone in a room full of people, to go unnoticed among people you know.
To feel like you don't belong. That might be what I'm using as my criteria for inequality. Not the economic or political sense of the word, but the social. I hope to be one who dispells inequality.
One small step to understanding what it means to posess charity.
Then, the trick is to balance that effort with the need to build and maintain deep and important friendships and relationships. It is possible to make everyone feel as equals without spending equal amounts of time with each one. When we are in a group setting, perhaps we should spread our attention to others a bit more, but we can foster our closer relationships by how we choose to spend our time, and who we choose to spend it with.
Alma 16:16 "And there was no inequality among them"
Becoming a Zion people, becoming of one heart and one mind is a significant thing. The question that this scripture has led me to ponder is this:
Do I create or sustain inequality by my actions? Is there anything that I do that makes someone feel less important when they're around me? Or if they already feel excluded, do I do anything to rectify?
I try to be kind to those around me, but I don't really think about building unity. I am sure that there is so much that I am missing that could make much more of a difference.
No one likes to feel like a lesser individual, like they're not wanted, to feel left out, feel alone in a room full of people, to go unnoticed among people you know.
To feel like you don't belong. That might be what I'm using as my criteria for inequality. Not the economic or political sense of the word, but the social. I hope to be one who dispells inequality.
One small step to understanding what it means to posess charity.
Then, the trick is to balance that effort with the need to build and maintain deep and important friendships and relationships. It is possible to make everyone feel as equals without spending equal amounts of time with each one. When we are in a group setting, perhaps we should spread our attention to others a bit more, but we can foster our closer relationships by how we choose to spend our time, and who we choose to spend it with.
Sunday, September 26, 2010
Humanity
Last night, I ran up to the Y parking lot in Provo. It is one of my favorite spots to run. One, for its difficulty (all uphill, some of it very steep) to get a good workout, and two, for the vantage point I have at the top. I like to look out at the city lights, which I can see across most of the valley. Urban settings have their own beauty to them, especially at night.
From up high, it is easier to think of things on a grander scale. To view the whole rather than the parts. There are so many of us, humans that is, even in a small place like Happy Valley. We all live and interact with one another in various ways.
I've been thinking lately about what we do when we pass someone while on foot. Walking on the sidewalk, someone is coming the opposite direction. You look out and see them, you look down or away as you are approaching or walking by them, trying to avoid awkward eye contact with a stranger, while yet still trying to steal a glance to see what they look like or if you by chance may recognize them. There are many variations on this interaction, but I generally observe that we avoid speaking or even acknowledging the other person. We seem to prefer to walk and let walk, so to speak.
I stand guilty of ignoring humanity as I pass them on the street. Too often I pass by without recognizing their presence, as if they don't matter to me.
They do.
I have been blessed with a knowledge of the Gospel, and I know their worth. And apart from that, I know the great importance that an individual citizen has for the benefit of the whole. And the significance of being human, existing and having cognitive thought.
So, I resolve to do better. I resolve to return to yesteryear, when a cordial greeting would be exchanged by passersby, out of common courtesy and respect for the other. I resolve to speak more to my fellow man, and show them, at least for all of the 5 seconds that would make up our encounter, that they are significant in the world. I don't need to grab the attention of everyone that comes my way, but I know the opportunities that should be taken.
The world seems so much better when you're comfortable exchanging a warm hello with a stranger. And who knows but that their day will be brighter as well.
From up high, it is easier to think of things on a grander scale. To view the whole rather than the parts. There are so many of us, humans that is, even in a small place like Happy Valley. We all live and interact with one another in various ways.
I've been thinking lately about what we do when we pass someone while on foot. Walking on the sidewalk, someone is coming the opposite direction. You look out and see them, you look down or away as you are approaching or walking by them, trying to avoid awkward eye contact with a stranger, while yet still trying to steal a glance to see what they look like or if you by chance may recognize them. There are many variations on this interaction, but I generally observe that we avoid speaking or even acknowledging the other person. We seem to prefer to walk and let walk, so to speak.
I stand guilty of ignoring humanity as I pass them on the street. Too often I pass by without recognizing their presence, as if they don't matter to me.
They do.
I have been blessed with a knowledge of the Gospel, and I know their worth. And apart from that, I know the great importance that an individual citizen has for the benefit of the whole. And the significance of being human, existing and having cognitive thought.
So, I resolve to do better. I resolve to return to yesteryear, when a cordial greeting would be exchanged by passersby, out of common courtesy and respect for the other. I resolve to speak more to my fellow man, and show them, at least for all of the 5 seconds that would make up our encounter, that they are significant in the world. I don't need to grab the attention of everyone that comes my way, but I know the opportunities that should be taken.
The world seems so much better when you're comfortable exchanging a warm hello with a stranger. And who knows but that their day will be brighter as well.
Sunday, September 5, 2010
Right as Rain
Am I going to write about something that is not related to the weather?
Right now, it is stupendous weather outside. Beautiful evening sun shining through green trees onto green grass, a cool breeze rolling by.
This sort of weather refreshes me. It reminds me of that feeling that we may have sometimes had where we feel that everything is right in the world, everything is as it should be. Of course, there are many things that could be better, but the point of the feeling that this weather induces in me is that it doesn't matter what occurs around me, I am still happy. Interesting that this emotion is caused by what is happening around me, but nevertheless, it is a very enjoyable mood or emotion to have.
I know life will be hard. I will always be busy. I seek challenges if I'm not challenged enough, and so I know I'll never really have an easy go at it. I may fail at some important things. I may succeed only in the smallest degree in my efforts. But I will press on anyway knowing that I am doing what is right, and doing my best at it. Success and results are nice. Praise is nice. But now, I think I am getting more at the heart of this feeling. I am simply uncovering the underlying peace that I receive from the Gospel of Christ. The storm may rage about, and I may stress and worry as I try to work in spite of it. But despite the stress, I am calm and at peace, which enables me to continue doing what I need to do despite hardships.
This is somewhat significant now, but I know I have much more difficult tasks ahead of me. But I don't fear the trouble. I don't fear the possible failure. Indeed, it is difficult to feel fear when peace has its hold, even when there is much to fear. And so I move on into whatever storm may be, prepared to do what I must do, and win or lose, stand tall knowing I've done all.
Right now, it is stupendous weather outside. Beautiful evening sun shining through green trees onto green grass, a cool breeze rolling by.
This sort of weather refreshes me. It reminds me of that feeling that we may have sometimes had where we feel that everything is right in the world, everything is as it should be. Of course, there are many things that could be better, but the point of the feeling that this weather induces in me is that it doesn't matter what occurs around me, I am still happy. Interesting that this emotion is caused by what is happening around me, but nevertheless, it is a very enjoyable mood or emotion to have.
I know life will be hard. I will always be busy. I seek challenges if I'm not challenged enough, and so I know I'll never really have an easy go at it. I may fail at some important things. I may succeed only in the smallest degree in my efforts. But I will press on anyway knowing that I am doing what is right, and doing my best at it. Success and results are nice. Praise is nice. But now, I think I am getting more at the heart of this feeling. I am simply uncovering the underlying peace that I receive from the Gospel of Christ. The storm may rage about, and I may stress and worry as I try to work in spite of it. But despite the stress, I am calm and at peace, which enables me to continue doing what I need to do despite hardships.
This is somewhat significant now, but I know I have much more difficult tasks ahead of me. But I don't fear the trouble. I don't fear the possible failure. Indeed, it is difficult to feel fear when peace has its hold, even when there is much to fear. And so I move on into whatever storm may be, prepared to do what I must do, and win or lose, stand tall knowing I've done all.
Friday, August 20, 2010
Allergies
I have never had allergies, but looks like that has changed. I have developed some sort of hay fever, and I thoroughly do not enjoy it. Even after taking some allergy medicine, my nose was still stuffy and runny.
So this whole allergies thing is new to me? Anyone want to comment on their allergies or experiences with them?
As a side note, I am curious somewhat about the development of allergies. That is, how am I allergic now, where I wasn't before? Perhaps it's because I haven't been living here for a long period of time, and in my absence my body has become unaccustomed to the environment.
I recall seeing reports that the number of kids with allergies is on the rise. I think I can tie this all together. Kids today are spending less time outside. Less time outside and exposed to the elements means your body is not used to dealing with the foreign objects that you would breathe, feel, or bump into.
I think spending more time outside as a kid helps build up somewhat your "immunity" to various things. Sort of like vaccines. I have nothing to back up this idea, but it seems to make sense. There are certainly some allergies that people are born with that no amount of early childhood exposure will cure. Indeed, everyone is allergic to bee stings, but some are more allergic than others.
Some things can't be changed, but I believe there is something to be said for allowing your kids to play outside in the dirt, in the bushes, with the bugs, and whatever else may be in the great outdoors (or the great sidewalk, depending on your living situation). Sure it's not the cleanest of environments, but perhaps time spent therein could do some good, just as you shouldn't pick up a child each time they fall, lest you inhibit their growth.
Unfounded ideas, but maybe they have some merit. Any thoughts there?
So this whole allergies thing is new to me? Anyone want to comment on their allergies or experiences with them?
As a side note, I am curious somewhat about the development of allergies. That is, how am I allergic now, where I wasn't before? Perhaps it's because I haven't been living here for a long period of time, and in my absence my body has become unaccustomed to the environment.
I recall seeing reports that the number of kids with allergies is on the rise. I think I can tie this all together. Kids today are spending less time outside. Less time outside and exposed to the elements means your body is not used to dealing with the foreign objects that you would breathe, feel, or bump into.
I think spending more time outside as a kid helps build up somewhat your "immunity" to various things. Sort of like vaccines. I have nothing to back up this idea, but it seems to make sense. There are certainly some allergies that people are born with that no amount of early childhood exposure will cure. Indeed, everyone is allergic to bee stings, but some are more allergic than others.
Some things can't be changed, but I believe there is something to be said for allowing your kids to play outside in the dirt, in the bushes, with the bugs, and whatever else may be in the great outdoors (or the great sidewalk, depending on your living situation). Sure it's not the cleanest of environments, but perhaps time spent therein could do some good, just as you shouldn't pick up a child each time they fall, lest you inhibit their growth.
Unfounded ideas, but maybe they have some merit. Any thoughts there?
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